F***Y

“No mortal ever has been, no mortal over will be
like the soul just launched on the sea of life.
There can never again be just such environments
as make up the infancy, youth and manhood of this one.
Nature never repeats herself, and
the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.
No one has ever found two blades of ribbon grass alike,
and no one will never find two human beings alike.”
~ Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Solitude of Self

I am entering two decades of F-words on the 22nd. I have the fortune of looking young (yet I was always an old soul), but as a number 40 is a bit daunting for a single woman. Cultural conditioning would have it that I am nearing my expiration date.

I found myself googling Spinster the other day, because it feels like this milestone birthday might herald that title for me. A lot of blog posts recently discuss appreciation for life partners, but also mention how hard it is. One by Leonie Dawson was quite poignant, stating that to have a happy partnership she as a wife needed to be:

“A person who is utterly in love with themselves.
A woman who keeps cultivating her passions and
her dreams and the things that light her up.

Who decides to see herself everyday as the goddess she is.
Who is whole and happy and true.
And even if she doesn’t feel like that all the time…
she sure as shit keeps growing in that direction.
Keeps knowing that it’s possible for her.
And that life is for living and loving the shit out of!”

~ Leonie Dawson

It was a lovely reminder that creating the best life for me is the best way to find true love, because once you love yourself, everything else is gravy. As much as we like to imagine the rescue fantasies, Prince Charming or Mr. Superhero will ultimately come home after his adrenaline-fueled adventure and be asked/expected to pick up his socks, do the dishes, or take out the trash. The storybooks don’t really go into how rescuers respond to doing household chores in their ‘happily ever after’…

So, since there is no date in sight, I’m just going to dwell on the goodness in my life, and give this F***Y label a run for its money.
On August 1 I decided to kick off 40 days of celebration, and I am working on a list of 40 things to do/start in that time frame:

  1. Eat 40 pieces of chocolate
  2. Drink 40 sips of wine
  3. Get 40 hugs from loved ones
  4. Enjoy family time with fly-in guests
  5. Photograph 40 new things
  6. Look at 40 butterflies in Butterflies & Blooms
  7. Count 40 costumes at the Bristol Renaissance Faire
  8. Take 40 walks
  9. List 40 reasons for gratitude
  10. Meditate for 40 minutes
  11. Look in the mirror and say 40 nice things about myself
  12. Raise 40 butterflies
  13. Write 40 love letters
  14. Make a list of 40 places to visit
  15. Get an 80 minute-massage (40 minutes is too short!)
  16. Do 40 funky happy dances
  17. Put 40 things on my bucket list for the next 40 years
  18. Come up with 40 random acts of kindness
  19. Enjoy 40 spoonfuls of ice cream (scoops might be pushing it)
  20. Create a F***Y playlist celebrating life
  21. – 40. are yet TBD (chime in please!)

I’m also counting every group event as a birthday party. Thus far, the following are lined up:

It’s going to be a fantastic birthday month!

One thought on “F***Y

  1. Jessica says:

    Your list is awesome! Last year I started an annual “post birthday challenge” (which makes the DAY you turn a certain age feel less daunting, for me at least). This year, I’m on a quest to find my favorites of various things. So, for instance, finding a mascara I love. Because you know what, I’m 35 now and an adult woman ought to know what mascara she likes best ;-). (Physicians Formula Organic Fake Out is *amazing*.)

    I love that quote by Leonie, and I know just what you mean about the whole being single at a certain age thing… Bleh. I’m delighted that you’re turning this into a celebration fest of YOU. xo

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