â€œNo mortal ever has been, no mortal over will be
like the soul just launched on the sea of life.
There can never again be just such environments
as make up the infancy, youth and manhood of this one.
Nature never repeats herself, and
the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.
No one has ever found two blades of ribbon grass alike,
and no one will never find two human beings alike.â€
~ Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Solitude of Self
I am entering two decades of F-words on the 22nd. I have the fortune of looking young (yet I was always an old soul), but as a number 40 is a bit daunting for a single woman. Cultural conditioning would have it that I am nearing my expiration date.
I found myself googling Spinster the other day, because it feels like this milestone birthday might herald that title for me. A lot of blog posts recently discuss appreciation for life partners, but also mention how hard it is. One by Leonie Dawson was quite poignant, stating that to have a happy partnership she as a wife needed to be:
â€œA person who is utterly in love with themselves.
A woman who keeps cultivating her passions and
her dreams and the things that light her up.
Who decides to see herself everyday as the goddess she is.
Who is whole and happy and true.
And even if she doesnâ€™t feel like that all the timeâ€¦
she sure as shit keeps growing in that direction.
Keeps knowing that itâ€™s possible for her.
And that life is for living and loving the shit out of!â€
~ Leonie Dawson
It was a lovely reminder that creating the best life for me is the best way to find true love, because once you love yourself, everything else is gravy. As much as we like to imagine the rescue fantasies, Prince Charming or Mr. Superhero will ultimately come home after his adrenaline-fueled adventure and be asked/expected to pick up his socks, do the dishes, or take out the trash. The storybooks donâ€™t really go into how rescuers respond to doing household chores in their â€˜happily ever afterâ€™â€¦
So, since there is no date in sight, Iâ€™m just going to dwell on the goodness in my life, and give this F***Y label a run for its money.
On August 1 I decided to kick off 40 days of celebration, and I am working on a list of 40 things to do/start in that time frame:
- Eat 40 pieces of chocolate
- Drink 40 sips of wine
- Get 40 hugs from loved ones
- Enjoy family time with fly-in guests
- Photograph 40 new things
- Look at 40 butterflies in Butterflies & Blooms
- Count 40 costumes at the Bristol Renaissance Faire
- Take 40 walks
- List 40 reasons for gratitude
- Meditate for 40 minutes
- Look in the mirror and say 40 nice things about myself
- Raise 40 butterflies
- Write 40 love letters
- Make a list of 40 places to visit
- Get an 80 minute-massage (40 minutes is too short!)
- Do 40 funky happy dances
- Put 40 things on my bucket list for the next 40 years
- Come up with 40 random acts of kindness
- Enjoy 40 spoonfuls of ice cream (scoops might be pushing it)
- Create a F***Y playlist celebrating life
- – 40. are yet TBD (chime in please!)
Iâ€™m also counting every group event as a birthday party. Thus far, the following are lined up:
- WAX(in’)Blue: An Encaustic Exhibition opening reception at Morpho Gallery on August 10
- Meet & Munch Treasure Hunt at Stella Boutique in Evanston on August 14
- Wine Women & Wellness Progressive Networking Dinner at Symphonyâ€™s Cafe in Evanston August 29
It’s going to be a fantastic birthday month!